Dating your wife while separated
After all, there's a good chance that you get involved with that person and they drop that, "I'm getting back with my ex" bomb on you. And let's face it, there's a great risk in being the first new relationship for the soon-to-be divorcee.
Do you really want to be the rebound or the buffer between the old life and the new one?
Many times, couples will separate in hopes of saving a marriage. After all, just getting distance from a painful, antagonistic situation can provide you with enough perspective to come back together weeks or months later and sort things out. The man, a newspaper reporter, left his wife in Boston and went on assignment in Russia for a year.
Their marriage had been on the rocks, but during the year apart, the two developed an email correspondence that brought them new intimacy and understanding.
Under North Carolina General Statute 50-6, a couple must be separated for one year before a divorce is final.
Even though separated, you are still technically married until the court enters the order granting the divorce.
Lois De Socio is a journalist with 30 years' experience writing for newspapers, magazines, and websites.
We picked at tuna and scallops, washed down with wine for him and vodka for me. A nice man who, in just 90 minutes, unwittingly gave me back myself.
(Indeed, they exist in that state to this day.) The woman, happily living in a townhouse in Miami, plays tennis during the day and spends evenings with her lover, another woman. In the man's case, getting a divorce would only make him available for remarriage, an idea he hardly relishes.
It was October; he promised that we, and our two sons, would still spend that Christmas together as a family.
She has written for the New York Times, Newsweek, ZINK, and Modern Drummer, among others.
Even when the divorce is amicable, as mine was over a decade ago, the massive weight of the realization that the world you had built with your soon-to-be-ex and the end of your journey with a person who at some point was the closest person in the world to you is downright smothering. Are we supposed to see each other a certain number of times a week? Or do you tell them that the marriage is over, no chance of being mended and that the paperwork is simply a formality? I recall going through that period, knowing full well that the marriage was over and that, indeed, the paperwork was just the final punctuation.
It's an awful, soul-crushing rollercoaster and every time someone sarcastically remarks how easy it is for people to get divorced or how so-and-so "just left their marriage," my head feels like it's about to explode. However when I would reveal to someone in whom I was potentially interested that I was separated, they invariably would shy away.